One of my very best friends is currently going through a tough heartbreak right now and it made me reflect on some influential and challenging times in my own life. What have I learned from my trials and tribulations? What has remained true through every single challenge, heartbreak and shitty experience?
What I’ve Learned From A Lifetime Of Pain…
In all my years of pain and suffering I’ve realistically only learned a few things. Three to be exact! These three pillars seem to be applicable to any person and situation possible so if you’re going through a tough time, listen up!
1. Everything Happens For A Reason
2. The Best And Really Only Way To Get Over Something Is To Find A New Source Of Happiness
3. It’s Not What Happens It’s How Your Deal With It
Why You’re Struggling
Your struggles are setting you up for a new found greatness. They’re creating a better more improved you. Don’t agree? Think of it like this: the comparison between the original Iphone vs the Iphone X. They are completely different and over the years the Iphone has been reinvented. There were some challenges they had to overcome to create a better more efficient Iphone. Similarly, there’s a reason you’re going through challenging times. There IS something better in your future and these challenges will shape you into a new and improved you!
The things that break you down are eventually the reasons you choose to rebuild yourself stronger, wiser, and more equipped than ever before to handle trials and tribulations. Your struggles make you who you are.
Whether it’s heartbreak, losing a job, a loved one passing away or anything else that could possible rip your heart into pieces you’re the one in control regardless of how out of control you may feel at times. In this story you are the survivor. In this story you are the author of your own book. You choose the words, the theme, the beginning, middle and end. You are more in control than you may think!
My story…Which I’m sure you can all relate to
In the first 10 years of my life I remember my dad being extremely aggressive, getting arrested, losing his job and eventually losing his family. My single mother who worked full time to support me and my brother suffered with extreme anxiety, Lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, and breast cancer.
I always had this gut feeling that there was a reason I was put through so many hardships at such a young age. The more you’ve been through the stronger you become. In December of 2015 I figured out why. When my mom’s cancer came back we knew she wasn’t going to fight it this time. Unfortunately, this was the end of her story. An early and unfair ending but regardless it was the inevitable end. I never understood why I had to grow up so early and why I was exposed to such heart wrenching pain at such a young age. This is why: My mom had about 18 years to instill a lifetime of love, knowledge, wisdom and guidance into me and my younger brother before her time here was cut short. The pain we went through during our childhood and teenage years was all in preparations for us to be adults at the young age of 18.
The second decade of my life included awful heartbreak from a relationship, the death of my mom, money struggles, selling the house I grew up in and of course becoming a real deal adult with no parental figure. I would say I’ve been through a thing or two and I would bet that you have too. We have all been through something. We all have our struggles and it’s not always fair and it doesn’t always make sense.
When I was growing up there were a million things that made me ask myself “why am I going through this?” I remember the days where my mom used to cry for hours wondering what she did wrong for her two kids to deserve all of these hardships at such an early point in our lives. I mean in the big scheme of things we didn’t do anything to deserve it but man am I grateful for all that we endured. It made us extremely close as a family and the trials and tribulations we experienced during our earliest years prepared us for the death of our mother at the relatively young age of 18 and 19 years old.
I choose to be grateful for my struggles because they’ve made me who I am today; a better, more improved version of me that would have never been created without pain, tears and an immense amount of pain. Without that pain I wouldn’t be the caring empathetic, deep, positive, grateful, giving and genuinely happy person that I am today.
Number 1: Everything Happens For A Reason.
Numbers 2 & 3 will be coming in the following blog posts!
What struggle or painful experience has positively shaped the person you are today? I’d love to hear your thoughts!